Parenting from behind bars I

Text and photos by Alejandra Kaiser

One out of four children at SOS Children’s Village Ayacucho, Peru, need care because their parents are in prison. To maintain the relationship between parent and child, despite the time and distance apart, the SOS team developed a partnership in 2010 with the local prison to have scheduled children’s visits and parenting workshops with the fathers and mothers of children in SOS’s care, the only programme of its kind in Peru and in Latin America.

Children in their monthly visit to the prison.

Five hours to the east of Ayacucho is the Vraem region – the Valley of the Rivers of Apurimac, Ene and Mantaro – and here more than 70% of Peru’s cocaine is produced. People become involved in drug transportation to different parts of the country and, when caught, sentences can vary from three to 25 years in prison. In many cases, both father and mother are imprisoned and the children are left to an uncertain future.

Like most prisons in Peru, the prison in Ayacucho is overpopulated. There are currently 2,760 inmates – 438% over its capacity – with around 200 women and 2,560 men. According to authorities, most of these cases, at 40%, are due to illegal drug transportation, the rest are theft (25%), sexual abuse (20%), and others such as human trafficking or extortion make up the remaining 5%.

Building a relationship

Karina and Gilberto went to prison in Ayacucho, in south-central Peru, seven years ago because of drug transportation. She will be out in two years and he still has five years left, but with three children waiting for them, this feels like a lifetime to them. The three children have been separated due to circumstance.

Maria (18) lives by herself in another city; Tomas (13) is currently in residential care; and Mariela* (7) lives at SOS Children’s Village Ayacucho. The oldest has health problems and she can’t visit her parents for now. T

omas ran away, was found by social services and then send to a government residential care facility that does not arrange prison visits. Karina and Gilberto have not seen their son for two years now; Mariela is the only one they see on a regular basis.

The seven-year-old girl grew up in prison as an infant and moved to her grandmother’s hou

se when she turned three. When she was brought to prison for visits, Karina noticed that the little girl was very unhappy and suspected that she was being mistreated. After Karina sought help, little Mariela moved to an SOS family.

Auntie Elsa, as little Mariela calls her SOS caregiver, describes her as a loving but restless child and recognises the benefits of having contact with her parents: “I can see that because of the visits to prison, she feels more reassured and more confident. She comes back happier and more alert. When she first arrived, she was a fearful and uneasy girl,” says Elsa.

Mariela with Elsa and her mother Karina during her visit to prison.

When they know the girl is coming, Karina cooks Mariela’s favourite meal and Gilberto buys her little treats from the prison shop. Parents meet their children on the so-called ‘day care patio’ – the prison’s most suitable space, spared the look and feel of being behind bars. The couple enjoys every minute when Mariela visits

and for two hours they all forget about their circumstances and enjoy each other’s company.

The couple are also active participants in the workshops organised by the SOS team and they are taking in all the learnings for when they return to their children.

“The day I get out, I want to bring all my children together in a house and work for them and give them a better education so they are better than me, and with the education I give them, they don’t make the same mistakes I did,” says Gilberto.

A tearful Karina confesses that when she feels defeated she thinks of her children and regains strength. Her daughter’s visits serve as motivation and a stark reminder of her goals.

The long-awaited day

At home at SOS Children’s Villages, the children know exactly when the visits are due and when the day arrives, they ask impatiently: “It’s prison day! Who is taking us today?” 

The children are given a special entrance to the prison. They don’t have to wait in the usually long queues to enter. Their SOS caregivers accompany them so the parents get to know who takes care of their children and can talk to them about the children’s improvements and setbacks. The children take photos and their notebooks along to share with their parents what they have done in school, what activities they participate in and then they also have an opportunity to do their homework with their parents.

“The main objective of this project is to keep the parents involved in the child’s life,” says village director, Dunia Quentanilla. “We seek to strengthen the link between the children and their parents who are in prison, facilitating these visits that are usually non-existent.”

SOS psychologist explains group activities to parents.

Additionally, since 2014, parenting workshops are held at the prison by a psychologist from SOS Children’s Villages. Every 15 days, they get the parents together in the prison chapel – they are usually separated by gender – to

talk about topics such as positive parenting and child rights.

“The idea is to provide them with tools to be stronger parents to their children once they are released. Usually, when they are finally back together, parent and child are like strangers to one another because so much is lost during this time of separation,” says psychologist Sheiley Contreras.

365 days to go

Yenny Mariluz arrived pregnant at the Ayacucho prison. She and her husband were caught trafficking cocaine; she was given a seven-year sentence and he was send to prison for 10 years, but at a different facility.

Her older son, Tomas*, is 13 and is staying with her cousins. Her daughter, Tania (11), is in the rainforests of the region with Yenny’s mother-in-law. Little Mario is now six. He was raised in prison until he was three years old and then he went to live with an SOS family. Although Yenny admits that she suffered from severe depression when he left, she knew this was the best for him.

“I asked the social worker here in prison to help me, I wanted him to go to SOS Children’s Village Ayacucho because around here we know they bring the children to visit regularly,” she says. “Auntie Sofia is really good to him, he is doing well at school and is well fed,” says Yenny, referring to Mario’s SOS caregiver.

The woman is grateful for the workshops and admits she is learning a lot. “Now I know how to raise them and make them understand things, not just give them orders,” she says.

Giving inmates a chance

Studies indicate that children with incarcerated parents are up to five times more likely to end up in prison themselves, and the parents’ criminal activity is one of the strongest forecasters of a later felony committed by the child. But the research also points to the fact that children who receive strong parenting from their incarcerated mothers and fathers are less likely to be involved with crime themselves.

With a routine schedule of visits and guided development, the SOS team is creating the space for children to understand their parents’ mistakes and the consequences. In addition, with the workshops in prison, they are also creating better parenting awareness among incarcerated mothers and fathers and, more importantly, they continue to be involved in their children’s upbringing.

As a result, the fathers and mothers take a more active role than before, says the head of programmes of Ayacucho, Alex Fidel Castro Paniagua. He sees that they are looking for better ways to communicate and to see their children after the workshops.

“Unfortunately they can’t do much from here, so the idea is to give them a chance and start a life project with their children,” he adds.

Although Yenny Mariluz will be released sometime in 2019, she says that days go by slowly. Once she gets out, her plan is to rent a place in the local market to sell food so she can get her children back. She says this journey has taught her to value things more and her dream is to have her three children back together.

“Where my children are, I will be,” she says.

Karina playing with Mariela and her friends.

*Names changed to protect children's privacy

See video in the Video section. 

See article published in El País in the Article section.